Dear Birth Parent(s),
We are Avi and Jaimie and though we come from very different backgrounds and cultures, our nerdy natures brought us together. Avi was raised in Israel and Jaimie hails from Washington State, but luckily the fates brought us both to Boston where we bonded over our mutual love for all sorts of things—hobbies, Star Trek, family, and, of course, one another. Since we met eight years ago we have been “trekking” through life side by side, first as close friends and now as husband and wife. Our next and most important step together is to become parents—hopefully to your child. Though we have tried to grow our family naturally and through IVF, we’ve decided that adoption is the path for us. We want nothing more than to love and raise a baby—hopefully YOUR baby—and are fortunate that our flexible job schedules will allow us ample time to do so. Before you read more about us, we want to thank you for this incredibly courageous and selfless decision you are making by looking at families with whom to place your child for adoption. Our hearts truly go out to you at this time and we are so grateful you are considering us!
The two of us met in 2009 at a “meetup.” The group was organized by a friend of Jaimie’s, so Jaimie was there, and Avi was there with one of his friends. Avi and his friend ended up sitting at the same table as Jaimie and her friend, and we began chatting. That night, we bonded over being nerds together and now we know that one day we’ll probably be the nerdy parents who adorably embarrass our child around their friends!
Over the following months, we grew our friendship by spending more and more time together. It took us nearly a year to admit to ourselves and one another that we wanted to be more than friends. We were both so shy that we had no idea how to tell one another that we were attracted to each other, but thank goodness we finally did, since being together as a family and now working on growing our own family through adoption are the best decisions we have made in our lives!
Once we were together, we knew that we never wanted to be apart. After officially dating for about eight months, we got engaged, and we were married about a year later. Our wedding was beautiful and we enjoyed a wonderful night of dinner and dancing with our friends and family. We were finally joined for life and now the only thing missing in our lives is a child to make our family more complete.
Growing Our Family:
The two of us had talked about having children well before we were married. We knew we wanted children, and we didn’t want to wait too long after getting married to have them. We started trying a few months after our wedding. After several months went by and we still hadn’t conceived, we knew there was something wrong. So, after various tests, we ended up at the fertility clinic for IVF treatments.
Over the course of three years, we went through multiple IVF cycles and tests, and were prescribed various fertility medications. Jaimie became pregnant once, but had a miscarriage at 20 weeks. We were devastated by this loss, but, in the end, going through the process only helped illuminate how important it was to us to become parents and encouraged us to explore other ways of becoming parents.
Luckily, there are so many other ways to grow a family and we have decided adoption is the best path for us. We strongly believe family is more than just DNA. Jaimie had a close friend who placed a child for adoption in high school and she was always inspired by that story. We had even talked about adopting down the road—our infertility simply moved up our adoption schedule! We know we will be amazing parents, and we want nothing more than the opportunity to raise a child and expand our family through adoption. We have so much love to give, and we can’t wait for the experience of raising a child from infancy so we can help provide for any of their needs, experience milestone moments with them, and simply watch them grow in our home.
We live in a beautiful, quiet neighborhood in eastern Massachusetts. Our house has plenty of room for a child to run around, and our neighborhood has a private beach and small playground. There are several other parks in our town as well, and the community boasts one of the best school districts in the state.
As far as our home itself, our favorite room is definitely our kitchen. When we were looking at houses and we saw the kitchen of our house, we knew it was the house we wanted to be our forever home. We knew this was the place where we would spend holidays preparing meals together and celebrating life events. We both love to cook, so we can’t wait to share that love with our children, and make sure they have special memories cooking and baking with us.
Both of us have large families who we love and can’t wait to introduce our adoptive child to. Our families are very different from one another and they will each welcome another baby in their folds in their own unique ways.
Avi On His Family:
I, Avi, was born and grew up in Israel. I have one sister, and my parents, who have been married for 45 years, are very excited about welcoming another grandchild into the family. I was raised Jewish, served in the Israeli army, and then, at the age of 20, I moved to the U.S. for college. I still have, and have always had, dual citizenship (American and Israeli) because I was born in Israel, but my mother is from New York. Though I grew up in Israel, I have always identified more with America than Israel, and through many discussions, Jaimie and I know that though Israel is a beautiful country to visit, we would not want to live in Israel. We love our lives here in America and we both want our child to have the experience of growing up here as well.
My parents are now both retired. They live six months out of the year in Israel and the other six months they live nearby us in eastern Massachusetts and travel. I also have one sister, Avigail, who is two years older than me. She is married and has a 3-year-old son. She and her husband moved to Massachusetts in 2007 and we see them every few weeks (we also sometimes watch our nephew for them). Throughout the whole adoption process my parents and sister have been very supportive and excited for us and can’t wait for us to expand our family. My parents are eager to spoil a new grandchild with toys, books, and clothes. My sister and brother-in-law are looking forward to our nephew having a cousin who lives locally, since his other cousins live in Israel. The whole extended family is also anticipating holidays with our new little bundle of joy – celebrating with us at Hanukkah and Passover.
Jaimie on Her Family:
I, Jaimie, was born and grew up in a small city in central Washington State. I have three sisters—I’m the second of four daughters—and my parents have been married for 40 years. All of my sisters are also married, and my older sister has a 6-year-old son. I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian church, but moved away from that practice in college. After meeting Avi, and knowing I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, I converted to Judaism. My parents have always given my sisters and me the room to make our own choices and follow our hearts. So, about ten years ago, I left Washington for the Boston area; I’m so glad I did as a few years later I met Avi and we created our little family!
My parents, sisters, and brothers-in-law have been so supportive while we have been trying to grow our family. When we told them we were choosing to adopt, they were, and still are, super excited for us, and have been curious about the process and how they can help. They all agree with us that family is about more than just DNA. Although all of my family lives in Washington State, they can’t wait to welcome our adoptive child into the wider family, and celebrate with us as our family grows. My parents and sisters are looking forward to frequent Skype and FaceTime calls so they can see the baby grow, and for us to visit so the baby can meet his or her cousin. All of my sisters are excited to be aunts to our child, and are looking forward to spoiling their new niece or nephew!
Our Family Traditions:
Family is so important to us, which is why we love the holidays and the family traditions that go along with them. While Jaimie converted to Judaism after we got married, the two of us are not really religious (more culturally Jewish), so we still spend Christmases with her family back in Washington. The family gathers at Jaimie’s maternal grandmother’s house, and there are homemade donuts for breakfast, along with a huge white elephant (Yankee Swap) gift exchange. It is not uncommon for there to be 35 or 40 people crowded in the house for dinner. This past year, Hanukkah and Christmas coincided, so we lit candles on Christmas with Jaimie’s family too.
We also often host Passover dinner, and spend hours enjoying good food and company while proceeding through the Seder. If Avi’s parents are in the States at the time, they join us, along with Avi’s aunts and cousins, and some extended family. We also invite friends, as it is traditional to have people who are not Jewish present at Passover. We are happy to share customs across our family’s cultures, our families are happy to learn about traditions different from their own, and we are excited to share the traditions from both of our families with our child someday, whether that is Christmas donuts and gifts, or Purim cookies and Hanukkah candles.
Animal companionship is so important to both of us, and when we moved in together, we knew we wanted to have pets. We adopted our cats Onyx and Pewter in early 2012. They are lovable, loving, and enjoy attention and ear scratches. Pewter in particular is very friendly and will jump into almost any lap if he can get some attention. We adopted Topaz in 2016. She is one chill kitty, and loves being pet by anyone. Our cats are part of our family and we can’t wait to introduce the three of them to a new, little person who will give them even more pets one day…hopefully your child!
Jaimie about Avi:
Avi is the most kind and caring person that I know. He often makes breakfast on the weekend so I can sleep in, and he encourages me to follow my passions and my hobbies. He often surprises me with new craft supplies so I can indulge in trying a new art or craft. He is always reminding how important it is for me to express myself through writing, crafting, or simply sharing my thoughts and feelings aloud because he knows these things make me happy. He not only accepts me as I am, but he also encourages me to be me. He is my anchor and the love of my life. I know he will be a wonderfully supportive father who will accept and support our child in whoever they are and whatever they choose to do.
Avi about Jaimie:
Jaimie is the sweetest person I know. She is kind and loving and makes me laugh. She knows how to cheer me up and can tell when something is bothering me. She always encourages me when I want to go out to take pictures, even when that means she has to join me outside in the cold. When we first started dating, I started going to school for my MBA. Throughout my studies, Jaimie was very supportive, and I don’t think I could have done it, working full time and going to school part time, without her support. I know she will be an amazing mother who will always encourage our child to pursue their passions and who will support them 100%.
One of the reasons we know we are ready for a child is that we are very close and in-tune with each other as a couple. The two of us make sure to always listen to each other and value each others’ opinions. We know that no relationship is perfect, and so we make sure to talk through any issues that come up. We make an effort to never go to sleep angry, and we make sure to confide in each other about everything. We prop each other up, and share one another’s burdens. We are partners in everything we do and try to play to one another’s strengths, which make us, and those who know us, believe we will be incredible parents together.
Our Parenting Style:
Despite our different upbringings, our perspectives on parenting are much the same. We both agree that formal education is important, but a love of learning transcends traditional education in our opinions. We agree on parenting fundamentals. We think that a child needs structure, and that too much screen time too early can be bad. We will encourage creativity and learning. We also think a child should be allowed to explore their world in their own way. We believe in respect and kindness for others, and we hope to pass those values onto our child. We both came from different places, but we both had loving parents who wanted (and still want) the best for us, whether or not they could provide it themselves. We want the same for any child we raise —unconditional love, the right amount of structure, and a safe space in which to learn and grow.
We both work full time – Avi works as an engineer and Jaimie works in education development – but have spent many years building our careers and now have the flexibility that comes with long term commitment to a company. Jaimie will have 12 weeks of maternity leave, and Avi gets 2 weeks of paternity leave, but his company is flexible, and he should be able to take more time when the baby arrives. When we do go back to work, we intend to use child care during the work week, but we are both fortunate to work for companies that are flexible about time off and schedules. Because of these flexible schedules, we are excited that we will be able to be there to witness our adoptive child’s various milestone moments, from their first steps, to their first school play, concert, and/or sports game.
The two of us love to spend time together, especially if it involves watching movies or traveling. When we started dating, Jaimie told Avi that he needed a hobby because she had (and still has) so many. Jaimie knits, crochets, cross-stitches, reads (a lot), and generally dabbles in all things crafty. So, Jaimie thought he needed something to do for fun as well. For the holidays that year, Jaimie bought Avi a nice digital camera; soon after, Avi was hooked. Now when we go on a vacation, Avi plans places at which to take pictures and Jaimie sits and reads or knits alongside him. It’s safe to say our child will never have a lack of baby pictures to look back on or knitted socks and sweaters to wear!
We cannot possibly understand how hard it has been for you to make this decision. But, we want you to know that we are prepared to love your child with all our hearts and we admire the courage you are displaying in making this decision. Thank you for taking the time to read our letter and we hope you can feel how loved your child would be in our family. We are so grateful you are considering making your child a part of our family’s story!
If you would like to learn more about us or speak with us directly, please call Full Circle Adoptions at 1-800-452-3678.
Avi & Jaimie